The Home Study

Brian took about 10 days to make his final decision and give me the go ahead. Meantime, I got everything I needed for our dossier ready. A dossier requires all kinds of legal documents. I had to get birth certificates, marriage certificates, three years of tax returns and w-2's, photos, medical exams, police clearance, and various notarized documents. And, last but not least, the homestudy. I had been calling around trying to find someone to do our homestudy. I finally found someone via the internet that worked out of Dallas and was willing to travel to our home.

I knew we needed to get going on everything right away because of our move in August. I was worried how long it would take to get the social worker into our home. But once again miracles were in store. Brian gave me the go ahead on Wednesday, February 21, 2007. The next day I mailed all of the documents for my dossier to Americans for African Adoptions, and called to schedule the home study. Our social worker said, "I just happen to be in San Antonio on Suday, would you like to do it then?" That was great for hurrying, but horrible for getting my house ready. I went into a complete frenzy for the next few days. I had several documents I had to prepare for the home study and clean the house (and hide all the death traps in our house).

I also had to get physicals for all the kids. I had scheduled physicals for Brian and I, but when I called to get the kids in, I was told it would be two months before I could get an appointment. Typical military healthcare. I was beside myself. Then, the heavens opened again, and anothe miracle fell on my doorstep. I went to teach my yoga class Saturday morning and one of my dedicated students brought her neighbor. She introduced her neighbor and said, "Her husband is a pediatrician here on post." My jaw dropped. I don't believe in coincidences! I explained my situation and she said, "Oh, easy to do, just bring the kids by at 2 pm this afternoon." So, I was able to get all my kids medical papers signed that very day--a huge answer to my prayers.

The big day came and I was so nervous. I didn't really know what to expect. I had heard so many different stories. It is a curious feeling to have someone come in to decide what kind of parents /housekeepers/ teachers you are. I probably went a little overboard with my cleaning and stressing. Our social worker was very nice and impressed with our family. Well, that was until we lost one of our children in the middle of the home study. Ugh!

While the social worker was interviewing each of us individually, Sophia (my 4-year-old), couldn't sit still and asked to go play on our bounce around in the back yard. I thought that it would be okay, and she was definitely driving me nuts, so I sent her out. About 10 minutes later, I decided to go check on Sophia. I went in the backyard and she was no where to be seen. I started calling her name. I looked up and down the streets. I went across to the neighbor's where her best friend lived. They were leaving and hadn't seen Sophia. I ran in every direction screaming her name. Pretty soon all of the neighbors were out running in different directions. We started going door to door.

I was beside myself. A few days earlier a strange man had been seen in the neighborhood and had paid a little girl $5 to take her picture. That thought kept running through my mind until I was in tears. The social worker even came out to help us search for Sophia. I was stressed, I was humiliated, and most of all I was terrified. Finally, after about 20 minutes, we found Sophia two blocks away in some Army buildings petting a dog. She had followed the owner down the street because she "loved the puppy" and wanted to pet it. The sick irony of the whole thing is that she had never done that before and she hasn't done it since. She just picked that exact moment in time to run away--right during our home study.

When I didn't hear from the social worker for a week, I thought we had failed the home study. It is funny, throughout this whole adoption, I have found some ridiculous thing to stress over after another. Luckily, I was wrong and we passed with flying colors. I was able to complete my home study in record time and get it to my adoption agency.