Adoption Update

I dread doing this because it brings back all of the sadness again. I have avoided updating because I long for the day when I will get to update with a post like, "The kids' visas are approved and I'm going to Africa next week." But, every time I get close to thinking that will be the next step, another setback arises. I keep telling myself that this is the way it is supposed to be to bring children into the family--blood, sweat, and tears. I think that it somehow endears them to you because you are willing to sacrifice, suffer, and fight for those babies. Whether pregnancy or adoption, there definitely is pain and suffering to get them here. I know it will be worth it in the end, like it has been with the other five, but I am really excited to get to that "end".

So the latest is that my file was submitted on October 30th and the consular requested that the children and their birth mother undergo DNA testing. Apparently, the birth mother was flustered and couldn't remember exact dates and details the consular wanted to hear. Additionally, the mother is in her forties and has adult children. I think the consular thinks that the woman is the children's grandmother--which, technically could be possible. So the DNA tests should be arriving in Monrovia within the next couple of days. I have no idea how long it will take for the consulate to administer the tests, but after that is done, it must be shipped back to the States, be analyzed, and then the official results will be Fedexed back to the consulate. So basically, we are looking at at least 5 more weeks, if we're lucky. There is a small chance that the children could be home by Christmas, but very unlikely--thus, I am not planning on it. We are seemingly experiencing Murphy's Law of Adoption. But, like I said, blood, sweat, and tears to get those babies into the family.

If by chance the woman claiming to be the birth mother is NOT the real mother, but an aunt or grandmother, then it gets a little more complex. Then a search has to be done to find the mother and all of the paperwork and Liberian case reports must be changed to reflect the real situation. If the mother is deceased or has disappeared, proof has to be found. If the mother is close by, then she will have to come forward and relinquish the children. If this is the case, then it is most likely that the children will still come home to us, but it will add on another month or six weeks to the process after the results of the DNA test arrive in the mail. So, the earliest I could possibly travel with a miracle would be the 18th of December, the most likely, if the DNA tests are positive, is the 5th of January. And, if the DNA results are negative, I will hopefully be able to get the children mid-February. If it falls through completely, then we start over again and wait for another referral.

Yes, it is a lot of "what ifs" and it is a fair amount of stress to carry. Brian and I are trying to live our life normally and pretend that this adoption hasn't comandeered our life, but it has. We are planning a trip to Disney World for Christmas, which I think will really help the family feel normal for awhile. So that is what we are trying to keep focused on right now--Christmas.