Looking At Thanksgiving

When I was a child we drove through the California desert several times. I always remember these huge puddles of water on the road off in the distance. I was always confused that we would never reach them. Finally, my father explained a mirage, that it was not actually water, and it would ALWAYS be off in the distance and one could NEVER actually reach it. That is beginning to be a great metaphor for this adoption. That and the metaphor of a roller coaster from hell. Everyone knows I hate roller coasters. It makes me sick to watch from the ground--I refuse to enter one. And yet, here I am on the worst emotional roller coaster of my life, traveling toward a mirage that keeps moving further down the road.

It seems that we will probably be looking at Thanksgiving time to travel. I am really hoping for the week before, but realistically, I think it will be the week after that (possibly even early December). My paperwork is stuck at a couple of different Liberian government offices being corrected. I was told there were a lot of really obvious mistakes on the adoption decree and various reports that would cause problems with the new consular at the U.S. embassy in Liberia. That is fine, I am glad that they are fixing that, but it is taking weeks and weeks to do that. In truth, it should have all been corrected back in August--but what can I do? I am hoping to have my paperwork submitted to the consular next Thursday, but at the rate things are moving, it will most likely be Oct. 11 or Oct. 18 (they can only be submitted on Thursdays). Then it takes a week or so to hear from the consular if you have been approved for a pre-visa interview, or if your paperwork is denied. Then it takes another 3-6 weeks for the field investigation where they interview the relinquishing family member and validate all claims of custodial rights and family history. In my kids' case, it is the mother that must be found and interviewed. From what I know, she is located close by in Monrovia (keeping my fingers crossed, anyway). After the pre-visa interviews and medical exams of the children, the consular alerts the the agency that the family is approved/denied travel. If you are denied the children can not come to the United States and I have no idea what recourse is taken to fight that. I am just praying that does not happen to me. Also, if there is any question as to whether the parent is truly the parent, the consular can order DNA testing. This can add another 6 months onto the process. Once again, I am praying this does not happen. There are so many things out of my control here. I know it is the nature of the beast, but it still is giving my poor heart a trial! It seems to all come down to prayer and faith that the right thing will work out.

I am trying to distract myself for the next 60 days. By then, I should know something! So we are throwing extravagant birthday parties, making extravagant Halloween costumes. We are knocking out the biannual dentist appointments, getting individual pictures done, finishing quilts, and going to the beach a lot. If I sit still I start obsessing again, so I just have to stay busy. I am also writing a book with my sisters and mom about finding our place as women, embracing femininity, not judging, prioritizing, not comparing ourselves, etc., etc. Okay, it's hard to explain, but it should keep me busy. I have always dreamed of writing books, but now that I am actually trying, I am rather intimidated by it. But, it is good timing to have a distraction like that thrown at me, that is if I could focus long enough to do it:)!