An Increase in Love

I was glancing through the last few posts and realized that I can come across as very stressed out and high strung with my life--it really isn't as bad as I make it sound. I think I just get on the computer when I need free therapy!

The truth is that I wouldn't trade any of this for any other scenario in life. I love it and I think I love being stressed out. It makes me feel like maybe I'm actually doing something with my life. I am amazed at the blessings that are being poured into our home these days. I asked Oakley how he was doing with all the new changes, and he said he felt like Diamond and Florence have always been part of the family. He is so right. The kids have adjusted like it was always meant to be. So, that means that not only is there lots more love, there is also lots more quarreling--just like they've been siblings forever.

I also have to admit that I was afraid of the way that I would feel about them when they were home with my biological children, if there would be a discrepancy that I could feel and have to hide. Not so. Brian and I love them just like our other kids. There are some issues with communication and discipline, but the love is strong. I can't imagine life without them. It really is like God had this planned from the beginning. Brian feels the same way. He told his mother today that he is loving this and wishes he could stay home to play with all the kids all day (yeah, I'd like to see how long that would last:).

We have had some discipline issues, but things are slowly improving and I really haven't had to face (yet) anything frightening or needing professional attention. That is not to say it won't happen, it would be naive to think that things won't surface in the future. But here is the latest update as to what we are dealing with:

Amazingly, Florence has been an angel. She is really starting to act her age. I had a pouting tantrum from her a week ago that started because she got her pants wet on the slide at the park and I told her "Too bad, go play." She stood in the middle of the playground pouting for an hour. Then it was time to go home and she realized that everyone had a great time and she missed her chance. I haven't had any major problems since. She is starting to be really nice to everyone. She does Sophia's hair while they watch T.V. She listens, she cleans up pretty well. I can't believe how she has done a 180. She definitely is a six year old, I can tell now. She also does the funniest play acting, playing dead is her favorite, or dancing with this really crazy bootie shake. Then as soon as everyone laughs, she gets shy and runs and buries her head in my lap giggling. She also eats like she is hollow. She will eat just about everything I serve. Rice and chicken bones are her favorite, but watching her eat the entire chicken bone and cartilage turns my stomach, so I can't serve that too much. After she eats a huge meal, she lifts her shirt up to show her stomach and says, "I get big and fat in America." I guess that is what they told her over and over at the AFAA house, that she would get to American and get big and fat. I am not sure if she is growing yet, but she is very happy here and I think that could make a difference in whether she grows or not.

Diamond has done better the last two days, but now he is my difficult one. We have a stand off for every meal. He shouts, "No, no, it's bitter." I threaten "sleepy time" if he doesn't eat it. He will gag down a bite and then say, "Oh, it's sweet-o." (FYI, bitter means tates bad and sweet means tastes good, not necessarily sugar sweet.) He is the one that can't share his toys and yells at everyone with the loudest deepest voice I have ever heard on a four year old. He wakes up at 6 every morning and goes around flipping on lights so he can find all the toys he wants for the morning. Needless to say, the rest of us aren't too happy about that. He is generally cranky until after his afternoon nap, and then he is delightful and funny the rest of the day.

Florence is very affectionate, as are all of my other children. Diamond holds back more, but he likes it when I kiss his neck and give him raspberries on his tummy. I am trying to give them lots of affection, just like I would a new baby. It takes a little more effort because older children are dirtier and stinkier (especially ones with giardia), but it is really rewarding. The other kids, even the older ones all want lots of affection from me now, too. I think it is good, kids need lots of affection. It is easy to give it babies, but I don't think the need diminishes as they get older. So now there is lots of love and affection going on, even between the kids. I think the love has increased ten fold since Diamond and Florence have come. But, so has the noise!