Am I The Only Pervert in the Room?

So last week, we were having a combined meeting with the men and relief society sisters. During the announcement section, the Enrichment leader stood up and said, "We are sending around a sign up sheet for the sisters to sign up to share ideas for our next enrichment meeting. The topic is "Fun and Creative Uses for Whipping Cream." I thought I was going to die. I looked around and no one seems to be laughing but me. Am I the only one to pick up on that double entendre? I giggled about it for days. When I told my sister, Tiffany, she said, "Man, I am going to pass that idea on to our enrichment committee. I guarantee that will be the best turn out for enrichment night that our ward has ever seen." Today, they passed the sign up sheet around again. I held it for several minutes debating whether to offer my suggestions. . . ;), but decided against it since the whole ward had seemed to miss the humor I found rather blatant. I handed the sign up sheet to the sister next to me and said, "Isn't this so funny? What are your suggestions for whipping cream?" She looked at the sheet then at me, suddenly her eyes got really big and her cheeks turned a burning red. Apparently, she hadn't picked up on that until I pointed it out. Okay, then, don't mind me. . . I'll just go over and sit by myself in the corner and not corrupt any of the other Relief Society sisters.

Oakley is such a sweetheart. I have been trying really hard lately with the kids to open the doors of communication so that they feel that they can come to me with anything. I use a lot of humor so that they don't feel like I get preachy or condemn them when they aren't sure how to handle things, especially in terms of moral decisions. I think it is working because Oakley came to me and said, "Mom, I need to talk to you about something going on at school." I said, "Sure, bud, what's up?" He explained, "So, there's this girl at school that I really like and I know she really likes me and everyone knows it too. They are trying to get me to ask her out on a date and putting a lot of pressure on me to do that. I told them I'm not going to date until I'm 16, but they still won't leave me alone. What do I tell people to get them to back off." This is the first time that I've really faced a legitimate problem my kids were having that didn't involve petty, backbiting little girls in the neighborhood. I thought for a second and said, "Well, tell them that it's way better to be best friends and not date. Tell them your parents were best friends all through high school, but never went on a date. Besides, once you date someone and then break up it makes it awkward and you can't really be friends all that well afterward." He looked at me like he wasn't convinced that was going to work with his friends. So, after a second, I added, "Then thump your chest like this and say, 'Besides, ain't no one gettin' a piece of this sweetness until I turn sixteen!'" He rolled his eyes, "Mom, that would be soooo embarrassing." I asked him a few days later if he'd used my line and he said, "Not really, I just talked to her about it and she understands, so it's no big deal. We're just going to be friends." Okay, that works, too.