Mommy's Many Hats

I have seen several times on the news an estimate of the income a stay-at-home mother would be making if she were paid for her services. I obviously think that is grossly underestimated. But, I was thinking of it the other day in terms of uniforms. I know that I will never make a dime for services rendered as a mother and the many capacities that entails. However, if I had a different uniform for every job I perform as a mother, I think people would get the picture of my multi-tasking abilities much more clearly. So, thus far, this is a list of what I have compiled I need to really dress for my job:

A maid uniform for all of my cleaning services
A dowdy grey governess dress for child care services
A navy janitor uniform with the name Bob over the right pocket and huge set of useless keys for late night taking out trash and securing all doors
A white jumpsuit for sweat room laundry worker hours (and its a lot of hours)
A ratty plaid shirt and B.O. and a TAXI sign for the top of my car
A waitress uniform for breakfast service
A lunch lady hairnet and apron for lunches
A chef hat for my gourmet :) preparations of dinner
A tacky blouse and slacks for my services as 3rd, 4th, 6th and preschool teachers
A nice pant suit for my services as principle
Scrubs with kittens on them for my job as nurse
Blue doctor scrubs for my job diagnosing illnesses and hypochondria
Green surgical scrubs for the minor surgeries of removing slivers and rotting objects from ears
A white lab coat for my job as in-house pharmacist
Exercise clothes for leading P.E. classes, and coaching the family soccer team
A french beret for my services as Art teacher
An expensive Italian suit and silk tie for my services as CEO, accountant and financial advisor
An argyle sweater and horn rimmed glasses for my job as therapist/counselor/psychologist
Ballet clothes for teaching ballet (okay I do get paid for that)
Black and White Striped jersey and whistle for my time as referee of children's fights
Black robes as judge for issuing discipline
A night stick and blue shirt for job as prison warden, guarding time-out/nap convicts from escaping
A pencil behind my ear and bifocals for my job as resident librarian constantly telling children to be quiet and read more
A swimming suit for swimming teacher services
A broken down pickup truck and dirty jeans for my landscaping services
A cub scout uniform for my job as church/family cub scout master
My church clothes for my most important job of teaching my children to be good, moral, honest individuals, and striking a respect of God in their hearts
A formal gown for my singing performances, performed every night at each child's bedside as I tickle their backs, tuck them in, and kiss them goodnight.

I probably did not get them all, because some days introduce new jobs that I have not yet encountered before. I think it might get a little ridiculous to actually wear all of these uniforms at the proper time because often it changes minute to minute, or they overlap and I would be wearing thirteen uniforms simultaneously. So, a real mommy uniform actually consists of sweats and a t-shirt, or on a fancy day, jeans and t-shirt. I wouldn't trade it for the world!!!