Our last full day on Koh Phangan we rented the 4x4 again and decided to explore other beaches. I had read online that Bottle Beach was supposed to be one of the most beautiful beaches on the island, and even more secluded than ours because it could only be accessed by boat or on foot. We decided to hike the 8 km roundtrip through the jungle to the beach. It was a rigorous hike, like all the others. Giselle refused to go any farther after only hiking about 100 meters. She pitched a massive fit, so I decided I would tell everyone a story about a shipwreck on a jungle island. As long as I kept the story going, they would all keep hiking without a word of complaint. So I spun a ridiculous tale that entralled all of them except Oakley who told me it was a "pretty stupid story." I have to agree with him. Sophia kept saying, "Mom, what happens at the end. . . . what happens to so-and-so. . . ?" I kept telling her, "I don't know, I'm making this up as I go." Anyway, it kept them moving and became their default entertainment throughout the rest of the trip.
The hike turned out to be far more awesome than Bottle Beach. The beach was completely deserted and it was filthy with a million plastic bottles everywhere--I don't think that was the reason the beach got the name, but it was fitting that day. We were the only people there except for one other tourist and a few hotel staff. They fixed us some snacks and got us drinks for lunch, but the only thing to do was to hike back out.After returning to the truck, we drove to another beach. I didn't want to go back to pedophile beach, even if it was the prettiest beach on the island. I had been up all night having nightmares about pedophiles and devising ways I could castrate them with palm branches or coconut shells if they ever came near my children on the beach again. Instead we went to a beach called "Secret Beach." It was almost as pretty as Haad Salad and there were only three other tourists and a few Thai massage therapists in a massage hut. Perfect! The kids swam and rode the waves, Brian drank cokes and Sophia, Oakley and I went for massages.
The picture above is of Oakley after getting his massage. Since Oakley wasn't in a swimsuit they made him strip down to his boxers and he had to do so in front of everyone since the place is just a palm branch hut built on bamboo poles with no walls. Then as we were getting our massages the lady giving mine asked my children's ages. When she heard Oakley was 15 1/2, she started ooohhing and aaaahhing, and all the women started giggling. Turns out the girl giving Oakley his massage was 16 years old and the women were trying to set her and Oakley up for marriage. Oakley's face turned sunburn red--only it wasn't a sunburn. When the massage finished he pulled his pants back up in a hurry and rushed out of there. Brian asked him how he liked his first massage and he said, "It was a little. . . uh. . . uncomfortable." We had a good laugh at his expense.
We drove around to the south side of the island to Haad Rin (the major party beach for the full moon party) and we found a fantastic restaurant and had a massive feast of Thai food. The chicken fried rice baked in a pineapple shell was seriously the greatest thing ever. This vacation was the adventure of land travel combined with the awesome food of a cruise. We got it all!
Including giant jungle creepy crawlies. Our bathroom in the bungalow was all made of stone and there was a single shower head in the middle of the room that delivered our freezing cold showers. As I was trying to hurry through my cold shower that night, I looked over and saw this gargantuan spider. My first instinct was to run screaming from the room, but I was freezing cold and still had shampoo in my hair. I thought there is no way in hell I am starting this cold shower over again because of a spider. I am going to finish this terrible shower and pray that thing doesn't have jumping capabilities. . . which I did. After I was clean, we took pictures and then smashed it's guts out. I love the jungle.
The picture above is of Oakley after getting his massage. Since Oakley wasn't in a swimsuit they made him strip down to his boxers and he had to do so in front of everyone since the place is just a palm branch hut built on bamboo poles with no walls. Then as we were getting our massages the lady giving mine asked my children's ages. When she heard Oakley was 15 1/2, she started ooohhing and aaaahhing, and all the women started giggling. Turns out the girl giving Oakley his massage was 16 years old and the women were trying to set her and Oakley up for marriage. Oakley's face turned sunburn red--only it wasn't a sunburn. When the massage finished he pulled his pants back up in a hurry and rushed out of there. Brian asked him how he liked his first massage and he said, "It was a little. . . uh. . . uncomfortable." We had a good laugh at his expense.
We drove around to the south side of the island to Haad Rin (the major party beach for the full moon party) and we found a fantastic restaurant and had a massive feast of Thai food. The chicken fried rice baked in a pineapple shell was seriously the greatest thing ever. This vacation was the adventure of land travel combined with the awesome food of a cruise. We got it all!
Including giant jungle creepy crawlies. Our bathroom in the bungalow was all made of stone and there was a single shower head in the middle of the room that delivered our freezing cold showers. As I was trying to hurry through my cold shower that night, I looked over and saw this gargantuan spider. My first instinct was to run screaming from the room, but I was freezing cold and still had shampoo in my hair. I thought there is no way in hell I am starting this cold shower over again because of a spider. I am going to finish this terrible shower and pray that thing doesn't have jumping capabilities. . . which I did. After I was clean, we took pictures and then smashed it's guts out. I love the jungle.
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