Warm Like Dance Biscuits

I know ballet like I know how to read a book. It's second nature to me. Words like pas de couru and coupe and grand jete en tournant actually mean something to me and I can analyze an arabesque instantaneously and tell the dancer how to improve it. That's why when I thought I could walk away from the studio forever, I was so dead wrong. It's in my blood. I don't remember life without dance in some form. I began training when I was six years old. By eleven I left school every day at noon to dance with the university ballet company as a junior member--six hours a day, five days a week. I did that for five years and then branched out into modern and jazz. My ballet teacher wanted me to dance professionally by the time I was eighteen, but I ended up leaving dance to save my life from eating disorders.

It wasn't until I was six months pregnant with my second child that I returned to the dance studio. At that point, I figured I was fat and for good reason, so I might as well get over myself already. I was asked to come in and sub a class in Salinas, CA and was hired immediately following my class. In Hinesville, GA I taught at two studios and produced, directed and danced the lead role of the Nutcracker six weeks after giving birth to my third child--I like to remember that role as the Sugar Plump Fairy :). When we moved back to Utah, I directed the ballet department of Center Stage and the ballet company of Academy of Ballet. In Alaska I directed a performing arts company and taught and choreographed for a second studio. In El Paso I taught at a community college and built a ballet program at another studio. After teaching last year in Hinesville again, I decided I wanted to go back to school and learn to write and never have anything more to do with dance. I was so burnt out. However, like I said, dance is like breathing to me, and I have this incredible love for my dancers. When I returned to Utah, one of my former ballet company members at Academy of Ballet asked me to come and choreograph a special piece for three of my former dancers. Choreography is my passion, so I agreed. (And then I got sucked into choreographing Firebird for the company as well--but that's a different story.)

Choreographing my piece, entitled "Lean," ended up being a great blessing in my life because of the friendship and connection that the dancers had with each other and with me. The motivation for the piece came from my husband all the wonderful people in my life that allow me to lean on them when I feel weak and in doing so allow me to accomplish things that I could never otherwise accomplish on my own. I used angles and off-balance balances with three couples to symbolize this.

Rehearsals were filled with a lot of laughter and bruises. In fact, at one rehearsal even I was goofing around and jumped on one of the guys' backs, only to be dropped on my tailbone. It broke and I thought I was going to die for about a month after that. But, I can laugh about it now. The show was early February and was so beautiful on stage, it made me cry. I really thought (and possibly still think) that this would be my last major piece of choreography. It is fantastic when your original vision in your head actually becomes a realization under the lights of the stage.

The next morning after the show, all of my dancers showed up at my house while I was getting a chiropractic adjustment and massage (because of my broken tailbone) and cleaned it and made breakfast for me. They have had family home evenings with me and babysat my children, brought me flowers, left me messages on facebook, and all around made my life better. I love my dancers, not just these awesome ones, but every dancer I've ever been privileged to work with--that may be my very favorite part of being a ballet teacher.

Following the show I announced to one and all that I was officially retired from the dance world and wanted nothing more to do with it. That lasted for a month or so. Then I noticed I was dancing around the kitchen more. Sometimes while I cook dinner, a sequence of steps will come into my head that I think are really great, so I'll start doing them in the kitchen. A little spin by the counter, an arabesque by the sink, while my kids stare and say, "Uh, mom. . . what are you doing?" "Cooking, duh." I answer as they look at me with this look that says, 'how old is our mom?' So when I got a call requesting my teaching services at a new studio in the area, I couldn't resist. Apparently their ballet teacher was in a serious car accident and in critical condition. I agreed and taught my first class yesterday. It was like putting on your favorite, most comfortable, perhaps slightly worn out pair of jeans. The perfect fit. I know ballet, I know how to make good dancers, and I know how to love my dancers for sure!btw, the title for the blog entry comes from a line from my favorite SNL skit with Beyonce and Justin Timberlake.