Comedy Break

My approach to blogging seems to be very bipolar. Because I use this blog as my journal, I write the things that shape my life the most and it seems that that usually involves only two things, drama or comedy and I seem to have a lot of both. So here is my periodic comedic break to record some of the funny things that spice up my life. I cope best with all my drama by laughing!
· One day Giselle ran up to me and asked if she could go play with her friends. I said, “Yeah, that’s fine.” “Yeah!” She screamed as she jumped up and down. Then she abruptly stopped and turned to me, “We can play with our friends but we don’t get to kill them, right Mom?” Ummm, right. . . I guess. Did she find that disappointing? Did she think that this was a principle that needed explanation? I wasn’t quite sure what to do besides laugh. Oh, well, I figure that getting that point across is the first step in good parenting. If all else fails, she won’t kill her friends—good to know.
· Yesterday I took the car through the car wash. Giselle has always been inexplicably terrified of the car wash, so when she was screaming in the back seat, I didn’t think much of it. I called out, “You’re okay. It’s just a car wash.” But she kept crying so I looked back to find that I had left a window open and Giselle’s head and face were streaked with white foamy soap. Now she will undoubtedly have some diagnosable phobia of car washes the rest of her life. But, on the bright side, I didn’t have to bathe her last night. When I made that point on my Facebook profile, a friend responded, “It sounds like you got a 2 for 1 deal.” I couldn’t believe I didn’t think of that before. I replied, “Great idea! Next Saturday we're going through the car wash with the windows down. I will get the car cleaned and the kids bathed for Sunday all in one shot. It will save me so much time. I might even opt for the spot free rinse and I won't have to bathe them the rest of the week!” I think I could even get Florence and Diamond waxed. Awesome!
· Today was the 5th and 6th grade maturation program. Oh! Painful! I went with Chloe because she begged and pleaded. Oakley didn’t want me to come anywhere near the boys’ class—and I wasn’t fighting him on it. Chloe watched with a mortified look on her face, clinging to me for dear life. She turned to me and whispered, “That’s going to happen to me?” Sadly enough. (Maybe not the curvy chest and hips. I’m still waiting for that myself.) When they got home from school, both Oakley and Chloe had puberty party bags from the school with things like pads, deodorant and soap. Sophia was jealous and asked if she could have one. Chloe answered, “No, you have to hit puberty to get one.” Sophia marched up and took the bag, “Well, I’m going to try to hit puberty next week.” Oh, heavens NO! When Sophia hits puberty, we better all run for bomb shelters. Thank goodness it’s not something you can sign up for!

A few minutes later I overheard the three oldest kids talking about what they’d learned in the maturation program. Oakley said, “Some guys get embarrassed at the size of their, you know, and other guys that are really big are really popular.” (Seriously? They taught that? Or was that what was discussed amongst the boys afterward?) Chloe without flinching said, “Well, then Dad must have been the most popular guy in his school.” What??? I wasn’t even sure where to go with that one. I don’t have any practical knowledge to be able to verify that, first of all. Second of all, What??? Where did that come from? Oh, how I miss the toddler years!