The Chronicles of Diamond

Diamond is a character--well, they all are--but Diamond is always either really irritating me or making me laugh. There's not a lot of in between. He has invented this new form of dance that involves gymnastics and karate to a very steady beat that only he can hear--it reminds me of capoeria (sp?). He has more rhythm in his pinky than the rest of my kids combined. He also loves our new swimming pool (which is 18 inches deep) and the slip and slide. He is always moving and dancing and making sound effects. He loves to come into the kitchen while I cook dinner and spin around in circles on his back, and sing made up lyrics to the tune of "Hit the Road Jack" at the top of his lungs. There are many stories to tell, but here are three interesting ones:

1) We just had our ballet performance. It was the first time I have had six children performing and been in charge of my own ballet (I choreographed excerpts from Coppelia). It was stressful to say the least! I was in a frenzy trying to get all the kids in costume and make-up before the show. Diamond, Florence, and Sophia were all in ballet, tap, and gymnastic numbers where they were dressed up as cats. I got Diamond in his little white t-shirt, black shorts, white nylon knee highs, pink bowtie, black ballet shoes, and a black eyeliner nose and whiskers. Delighted, he looked in the mirror and proclaimed, "I look AWESOME! I can't wait for my friends to see me!" I chuckled to myself and thought, "Dude, you're sporting a pink bowtie, a cat's nose, and ballet shoes--I'm not sure what your friends would say about that!" But, it was so cute the way he was proud of his dancing abilities and just beamed when the audience applauded.

2) On Memorial Day we went to the beach with all the kids. Brian and I were playing football with each other when we heard the most awful hacking, croaking, and whining. We looked over to see Diamond flopping in the sand and then running like a primate on all fours. Brian rushes over, think Diamond has gotten sand in his mouth. Diamond says, "I okay, I'm playing beach dog!" So for the next twenty minutes he galloped up and down the beach on all fours barking loudly. Yes--people stared--but if other people bring their dogs to the beach, then I'm entitled to bring my kid who thinks he's a dog, right?

3) Tonight at dinner I told Florence that she needed to remember to brush her teeth often because she has rancid breath that causes us all to wilt from the smell. Diamond pipes up, "And I need to brush my teeth because I have a red tongue." I laugh, "Diamond, everyone has a red tongue." "No, he insists, "a rat bit my red tongue when I was sleeping at the AFAA house." I looked at Florence, she nodded, "Yes, it bit his tongue and he bled." I guess that he slept with his tongue hanging out one night and the rat climbed up on his bed and latched onto his tongue. Diamond added, "It hurt, he had very sharp teeth." I guess he makes sure to brush his tongue every night so the rats won't get his tongue. I explained that there aren't rats in our house,in fact, neither Brian nor I have ever seen a rat outside of a pet store or a zoo. He was relieved to hear that. I just can't believe that that happened to him. It's funny that it gave him a complex about red tongues, but that is seriously gross!