It Just Keeps Getting Better

Some days I wake up and wonder how my life ended up so wonderful? How did I get so blessed to live this charmed life? Then I remember, it's not all luck, it has a lot to do with my own intelligence. And I'm not talking about my academic performance or my professional prowess--I'm talking about knowing the perfect man when I saw him. I tell my girls over and over again, the best thing you can do in life is marry a returned missionary in the temple--one that is hard-working, dedicated, humble and willing to put God first in his life. Who you marry makes all the difference in the rest of your life. Not to say that it's always easy, but it's a whole lot easier when that person is your very best friend and shares the same dedication to family and faith.

I have three experiences that have happened lately that I want to record for my daughters so when they are old enough to seek out their eternal companion, they will know what the standard should be! Their Dad!

Brian does have a couple flaws. One is that he is very indecisive and worries about making mistakes to the point of paralysis--mostly only when it comes to getting me birthday or anniversary surprises. Part of that is my own fault because back when we were so poor, I would tell him not to get me anything. But this year I told him that it was time for him to show me his devotion and at least write me a little note for my birthday. I explained that anything he did for me would be wonderful because it would show that he thinks I'm important in his life--and every marriage needs that.

On the day of my birthday, Brian called and told me to cancel my clients for the afternoon. He took off work, arranged a babysitter to do homework with all the little kids, and kidnapped me for the evening. First he took me to Smoothie King, which is my little piece of America here in Korea. We sat in the car (because it was way too cold to get out) and talked and laughed for an hour or so. Then he drove me to a spa where he had booked a three hour couples massage/facial/body scrub package. It was so incredible, I don't even think that I can apply the right descriptors to define the beauty of it.

Afterward he took me to my favorite restaurant in Daegu--Ganga (Indian food). We ate until we had to be rolled out of there. This was probably my favorite birthday of all time--with my favorite guy of all time. Not only did he pull through by remembering my birthday, he got some serious bonus points!

My second story is somewhat complex because it involves Army jargon, which is a little hard to dumb down for lay people--so I am going to copy Brian's words that he recently used to tell this story to his family in an email:

As most of you know I have been planning (since becoming a PA) to apply for an Orthopedic fellowship this spring that will give me skills in treating orthopedic patients as well as a Doctorate of Science degree when I am done which will greatly broaden my career oportunities both in and out of the army. Early on in January as I was preparing my application I found on my officer record that they had locked us in to stay here until AUG 2013 even though all of our other paperwork said we would be finished with our tour Aug. 2012. To make a long story short, my branch manager(the person that controlls assignments and moves for all army PAs) told me that due to that I couldn't apply at all to the program because it starts in June 2013 and I cannot leave early (no exception). I was so mad. We had been given a series of wrong information when extending my tour last year, and I couldn't get a straight story, and I thought I had totally gotten screwed because of it.

I spent most of the next day weeding through beauracracy with no success. The next day I was sitting on the bed next to Jess and recieved one more blunt, matter of fact email from my branch manager that seemed to dash the last bit of hope for my plan. I was super upset. Jess said, "Maybe we should pray about it". At first that suggestion almost felt like fingernails on a chalkboard to me because I felt like it was hopeless. Then my heart softened and we decided to pray. We prayed not only that we could find a solution but also that if we could not find one that our family would be protected and that we would be at peace about whatever happened. The spirit touched both of our hearts that day and we felt completely at peace about our future, a stark contrast to the extreme frustration and anger that had filled my heart just moments earlier. I used the story as the center of my Elders Quorum lesson the next day. I am thankful for my sweet wife who helped me to remember that God loves me and my family. He knows me, he is aware of my needs and wants, he has blessed me and my family so very much and he will continue to do so even if it is not always exactly how I planned. Since then a loop hole has opened up that may allow me to apply and attend the program but it will cost us about $11,000, but then that is still a very cheap Doctorate program (the Army pays all the costs as well as my wages).

It's funny how in the moments when I am frustrated or questioning, Brian is strong for me, and the same is true for the strength I give him. It was really hard for me to see him so upset and frustrated. At first I felt so helpless. Then I felt this feeling of peace come over me. I took his face in my hands and said, "God has never failed us, he won't now. The right thing always works out." We decided to fast and pray the next day. When we broke our fast together, we sat on the bed facing each other. He started to cry as he told me how he had given his whole Elder's Quorum lesson about the way I inspired him and restored his faith. It was a poignant moment in my life. I realized that we have grown into a perfect team. And after 16 years, we're only just beginning to understand the depth of our relationship and it just keeps getting better every day.

Finally, my last story is about my Master's thesis. I have been working so hard over the last two years to complete my master's in Marriage and Family Therapy. I completed my internship in 9 months (6 months less than the norm) and I completed the program more quickly than any other student in the history of the school's program. Last week I presented my thesis to the core faculty of my program via the internet. Because of the time difference, I had to wake up at 5 am and log onto a conference call. I was so nervous. For my thesis I had to present my own personal model of therapy and the corresponding theoretical foundations. Then I fielded questions regarding my techniques and approaches. I felt like they really grilled me and I was feeling inadequate to appropriately defend my ideas.

My awesome husband took the first couple of hours off work in order to get the kids out the door to school so they would not interrupt me. He then waited for me to finish, so he could be there to congratulate me. When I finished he gave me a giant hug. I started cry because of the emotional let down. I said, "I'm so proud of myself for conquering this!" He replied, "I am so proud of you, too. You're the most amazing woman I know." Not only was it fantastic to be finished, but it was so perfect to have Brian there rooting for me. Twenty minutes after I finished, I received an email from my primary professor that told me I was in the top 1% of students he had ever taught at any university. I know I'm a tenacious woman--but I don't think that I would have ever been as successful if my best friend hadn't been there cheering me on.

Happy Valentine's Day, Babe. I'm so glad we're a team for eternity ;)!