Because I use this blog as my personal journal, and someday I intend to print it (although, as a word document, it is now up to 500 pages since 2007), I find it necessary to give regular updates about what is going on for me personally, and not just record family vacations.
One year ago I arrived in Korea. I remember being so disoriented from jet lag and culture shock. Poor little Giselle used to just fall over like a narcoleptic from the jet lag. I remember the huge stress of not having command sponsorship and trying to homeschool and not knowing what I was going to do with myself. It was a rough few months. However, things slowly began to fall into place and my prayers were answered. Today, even though I still experience a great deal of stress about how all the details will continue to fall into place, overall I have seen huge miracles and feel like I've finally found my place in life as a Marriage and Family Therapist, a seminary teacher, a world traveler and a mom of seven, mostly self-sufficient children. I am happy. I know there'll be another deployment or another trial, because that's always the way life goes, but in the interim, I am enjoying every day.
There are a few funny things that have changed with me working. First of all, I'm tired!! I usually have more energy than a human should have, but now, come Friday night, I do not want to get off my rear end. Second, I realized I HATE cleaning and there is no good reason why I should have to do it anymore--therefore, I hired an ajuma or housekeeper and I have now sworn to myself, I will never be without one again!! Third, I realized that even in the mental health profession, some of your coworkers are just freaking CRAZY!! (I'm sure there's a DSM-IV diagnosis for that.) Finally, Brian and I work together professionally now. We refer each other patients and we consult on different aspects of our patient care. I LOVE that! We already make an awesome team, but this just adds to it.
Several months ago I related the story of an old psychologist here on post that decided he hated me and my supervisor. He was relentless in bullying both of us. My supervisor ultimately left because she was so sick of it. I thought he would back off me after he kicked me out of the building where I was seeing clients. . . and he did for two months. Then out of the blue he suddenly sent my school a threatening letter demanding my notes be given to him or he'd ruin my internship. Well, almost all of my client files are still active and need to remain where I am seeing clients. Not to mention, per HIPPA regulations he has no authorization to view my records. Unfortunately, this man picked the wrong woman to provoke! I went to JAG and got legal counsel, I wrote a letter to his boss. After several days I got an email saying that he has "agreed" (like he had a choice) to let me keep my files if I presented him a copy of my HIPPA training certification (he already has a copy). Moron!
So this past Thursday I was invited to participate in an Army committee analyzing the behavioral/mental health needs of this area of Korea. I was really excited to be invited because it looks great on my resume. A few minutes into the meeting, guess who shows up. . . crazy psychologoist man. And would you know it. . . the only open seat was next to me. I smiled, stood up and got him an information packet and welcomed him. He scooted as far away from me as he possibly could. It was ridiculous. But, I am a very forgiving person and I don't hold grudges, even if the man needs a good swift karate chop to his Adam's apple!
My job, in and of itself, is hugely rewarding. I get to work with so many people from so many walks of life. I love people and I love their stories and I love how strong and resilient people are, no matter what they have been through. My favorite saying I use with my clients came from my therapist two and a half years ago, "Honey, everyone's got shit in their lives. The question is, what are you going to do about yours." I love getting people to "own their shit" and then make changes. I really thought that people's terrible stories of abuse and abandoment and trauma would emotionally affect me more, but it doesn't at all. Not that I'm calloused now, but now I have the tools to get people through it. Plus, I've realized EVERYONE has something to deal with! I will admit that the only thing that gets to me is when I have to do sex therapy for couples. As a therapist, you are supposed to talk to clients in the language they use, but sometimes I just can't do it without almost giggling. I'm still working on that.
The kids love their new school. They are all so much happier than going to the international school. What started out to be so wonderful last year ended in a lot of racism, xenophobia and ostracizing. I guess the good thing about that is that now relatively speaking, anything is a step up. Four of the kids start soccer this week and Brian is coaching their teams with one of his soldiers. Should be a fun fall for our family!
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